2011 was filled with a lot of crap. Actually, the last 3 years have been filled with a lot of crap. Obviously there’s been some good – like a wedding – but mostly there’s been a lot of crap. And that’s why my resolution for 2012 is for it to not suck.
What? That’s not how resolutions work? Wrong. That’s exactly how resolutions work. Because resolutions are like wishes (which, as we all know, are for punks and losers).
Here’s how the average resolution goes down: You spend the last week of the year making a list of all the changes you want to make in your life – lose weight, eat better, work out more, get a new job, get a pet squirrel, clean out your closet twice a year, cut down on the dumpster eating, volunteer with children, volunteer with old people, volunteer with squirrels, win the lottery, start playing the lottery (your list is lengthy and slightly ridiculous because it’s the last week of the year, and you have nothing better to do than make a slightly ridiculous lengthy list). Then New Year’s Day comes around and you tell yourself you’ll get started on the list tomorrow because after all, today is a holiday! Tomorrow shows up and you’re still hung over (you should probably consider adding “drink less” to your list) so you put the list off until tomorrow. And the next thing you know, it’s the last week of the year, and you haven’t accomplished anything on your list. Why? Because resolutions are like wishes. (Take notes, people.)
And that, kids, is why I prefer New Year Goals. Goals are more attainable. Why? Because you can make a vision board (or wall depending on the lack of construction paper in your life)! An entire board (or wall) filled with pictures and Word Art of the things you want to accomplish in the new year is hard to ignore. You can’t just walk past a picture of you holding a squirrel without thinking just how much better your life would be if you had one of your own to dress like a pirate for Halloween. It keeps you on track so that at the end of the year, you finally have something to show for yourself. Even if it’s only a Photoshopped picture of you holding a pirate squirrel.
